Tag Archives: false

Faux No!


As I passed our local flower shop the other day, I caught a glimpse of some hanging baskets along the front of the shop with brightly colored flowers in them. They were all different colors, and I wondered what they were, but had already moved out of view of them. I said to myself, “They almost look fake!” But since that seemed ridiculous, I put it right out of my head. When I passed the next day, I paid special attention to the baskets, and sure enough, they are FAKE FLOWERS! Hanging outside of the FLOWER SHOP. Are you putting this together as quickly as I did? Sure you are! This is wrong on so many levels!

It started me thinking of other false fronts. Clever ruses. Misrepresentations. Disappointments. Like when you find out that your “maple syrup” is no more than high fructose corn syrup. Not a drop of maple sap in it. Or when you buy the 100% orange juice, and find that it’s 100% juice, but not necessarily ORANGE juice. It’s actually apple, pear, or some other mix. Or the “pure and natural” shampoo that contains at least 5 ingredients you can’t even pronounce, let alone do you want soaking into your scalp every morning.

Yes, it’s sad to admit, but we live in a world full of faux this and faux that. Magnets won’t stick to your car because it’s made of plastic. Your “down-like” comforter is full of polyester rather than feathers. The chocolate chips in your granola bar are actually carob. Nothing chocolate about it. The main ingredient in the crab salad at the deli never lived in a shell.

But what about faux feelings? Does your co-worker REALLY love your haircut? Does your “friend” on Facebook REALLY like your status update? Is everyone you greet with, “How are you?” REALLY fine? Did you REALLY have a great time on that blind date tonight?

In what other ways are we being deceived on a daily basis? Is the winner of American Idol lip syncing? Is our “high-speed” internet any faster than the average connection speed? Is that supple new bag you just paid top dollar for nothing more than pleather? Are the mashed potatoes made from flakes that never really needed any mashing? Did he just propose with a chunk of cubic zirconia? Is it live, or is it Memorex?