Breathe Through Your Mouth

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I’m going to risk it, and do back to back “gross” posts. This story is just too funny not to share.

 

Several years ago, I was substitute teaching. I had just started subbing at this school, and was in a 2nd grade class for the first time. The kids were sweet and lively, and I’d had a big, fun day. We were at the end of the day, and the teacher had scheduled us to watch a kids’ news video before dismissal. The kids were all gathered on the floor in front of the TV, and the classroom paraprofessional and myself were watching along with them.

 

Suddenly, we heard the familiar sound of a small but lethal release of a gaseous substance. No matter how old you are, or in what situation, that sound is always funny. You have to admit, that even if you are an adult, and trying to act mature in whatever situation, when that sound rings out, even you have to push the laughter back inside of you. Sometimes it’s hard. Really hard. Especially when you are with a bunch of kids who ALWAYS think it’s funny, and you are the adult, trying to maintain order.

 

As expected, the kids started giggling. There were some accusations, and some denials, along with some eeuws. I said something really effective like, “OK, that’s enough, settle down,” which did little to calm the snickers. The paraprofessional stepped in at that point, and said, “OK, now…remember what we do…just breathe through your mouths.” In the couple of seconds I had between her advice and the next remark, I thought to myself, “Well, that’s pretty sound advice…good thinking!” But then, one of the students answered with, “NO! Then you can taste it!”

 

Need I say more? The laughter and eeuws came back and there went any hope of salvaging the news video. Even the paraprofessional and I lost it at that point. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta go with the flow and laugh. But to this day, I still think of that advice every time I’m in such a situation, and I imagine I CAN taste it.  

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